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Types of users on facebook Sun 09 May 2010, 9:17 am
Rahul
Official Member
37
0
A funny way to observe people on facebook. I bring to you the 12 types of people who use facebook.
1. Facebook my life: " I'm bored" , "Went to the the shop", "Saw this movie....was good", "some people are stupid" (You are one of those); "don't want to go to college tomorrow", "am not feeling good" etc etc etc. I don't care if you are bored, don't like college, don't feel good, which movie you saw etc etc etc. Kindly f*** yourself for Christ's sake and stop posting your life on the Internet. Some others who browse this site do have a life of their own and you are wasting a lot of their time informing them where you are, where you'll be and what mood you'll be in. If I was a serial killer...you wouldn't have a wall to post on. Beware!
2. I've just realised what a camera is: Some people have been living in the 18th century and have been suddenly exposed to what the people from the future call 'Camera'. I know you'll are ancient but please can you stop showing us your ugly face from every angle there ever was? Can't you please keep it to yourself? If that's not enough they'll come up with pics of their friends, uncle, aunt, dog, cat, mouse, floor, tv, dad, mom, brother, sister, sunrise, sunset, moonlight and what not. People, we know a Camera is a great invention but we've been living with this since a hundred years. Kindly can you stop?
3. I like like: We know you like to lick a like in a live likable likish world in which like is the new tyke with a spike on a bike to like. People, stop 'liking' everything on facebook you ever see. I like you until I see you like something!
4. Comment the like in me: Excellent status update man! Neither is it funny, interesting, informative, weird in a good way or makes an ounce of sense. And to rub salt to our already swelling wounds by your recent enthusiasm, you have the cheek to like the post while no one else likes it and comment on it too? That's like me playing ping pong along and yelling "Great shot Rahul, amazing player you are". Imagine....looks retarded.
5. Turn the page: People it's not a book that you quickly turn pages of. Stop joining pages that are shite, you don't believe in and neither have any fucking sense. Daya has already broken the door and ran away like a fanny, you don't need to listen to the ACP. Take me to a time in past...where books were good and not crass.
6. Same pic - hate it: What's this obsession with updating your profile pics every 10 minutes? Are you so tired of watching yourself in the same pose? Imagine what happens to us poor souls!
7. Jobless Spammers: Fourth last category. Probably the coolest(not really). They hunt in hordes, pick a target and co-ordinate their attacks with such precision that it would put the Italian Mafia to shame. Post after post...they just never tire. Don't have a job and probably no desire. Kings of annoyance with notifications galore, their only aim is to type type and type. Precision and alertness second to none...they probably keep their eyes glued to the screen and jump up when they read "< insert name > has posted on < insert another name >'s post". Useless, jobless and utter retards, in a cool way.
8. The wind in you I will leech on: Basically a spammer, but a cooler one. The guy in this category is the epitome of a twisted mind, weirdness and annoys the hell out of everyone (atleast he thinks he does). With the qualities of a wonderful spammer already possessed coupled with the natural gift of annoying poor, frustrated souls this guy is the ultimate e-disaster the Internet has. Thinks he is cool.....probably is. Naah, not really you weirdo!
9. Status Update - To reveal or not to: This type always comes up with status updates regarding anything in their life or someone else's life which makes the readers ask why, how, where, what and such. If you are updating something about your life on a public domain and you know people will ask about it, do not get annoyed and share the reason behind that update. If you can't...and the update is only directed at a particular person, facebook does have a private message service. Don't get annoyed when we spam your update and take your glory away afterward.
10. No Scope: This is a recent observation as I don't tend to be online at 9 in the morning often. This type is actually not a type of it's own. More of a sub-type. What's the fuss with horoscopes people? Are they so unique and magical that you have to wake up at 8 in the morning, get straight on facebook and read your horoscope? Don't you'll get newspapers? Isn't it easier to open a paper that's right in front of than going through all the trouble of switching on the pc/laptop, opening the browser, log into facebook and then the application? Or does the facebook app have magical powers I'm unaware of? I've only read like horoscopes five times in my entire life (not on fb) and what they say has never happened for me. "You can take massive risks today" I followed that and ended up jumping from 20 feet and getting my legs fucked up. Scope-less Horror-Scope.
11: Ctrl+C, Easy Peasy: One day people who fit this type decided amongst themselves to have a competition to see who has the best status updates. Off Course they were a bit thick to actually realise that best status updates needed to be their own creations. Completely missing the point, this type of posters, to this date, keep using their very cool Ctrl+C/V options and come up with things which even if five generations of their family thought together wouldn't be possible to come up with. Bless them dear Lord, and give them originality.
12: More tags, more fun? : I don't get it? Okay I do get the bit when you tag a person whose face is actually seen in the picture. But have I missed something when I see people tagged on things/people they don't even half resemble? I read " < insert name > has been tagged in the album ". I click on the pic, I see the tag on some vegetable, cartoon or some person who looks a bit famous. They think it'll make me wonder "So this guy I was talking to all day long was actually George Clooney! Woah Cool! ". All I think of looking at it is "Get a life!"
1. Facebook my life: " I'm bored" , "Went to the the shop", "Saw this movie....was good", "some people are stupid" (You are one of those); "don't want to go to college tomorrow", "am not feeling good" etc etc etc. I don't care if you are bored, don't like college, don't feel good, which movie you saw etc etc etc. Kindly f*** yourself for Christ's sake and stop posting your life on the Internet. Some others who browse this site do have a life of their own and you are wasting a lot of their time informing them where you are, where you'll be and what mood you'll be in. If I was a serial killer...you wouldn't have a wall to post on. Beware!
2. I've just realised what a camera is: Some people have been living in the 18th century and have been suddenly exposed to what the people from the future call 'Camera'. I know you'll are ancient but please can you stop showing us your ugly face from every angle there ever was? Can't you please keep it to yourself? If that's not enough they'll come up with pics of their friends, uncle, aunt, dog, cat, mouse, floor, tv, dad, mom, brother, sister, sunrise, sunset, moonlight and what not. People, we know a Camera is a great invention but we've been living with this since a hundred years. Kindly can you stop?
3. I like like: We know you like to lick a like in a live likable likish world in which like is the new tyke with a spike on a bike to like. People, stop 'liking' everything on facebook you ever see. I like you until I see you like something!
4. Comment the like in me: Excellent status update man! Neither is it funny, interesting, informative, weird in a good way or makes an ounce of sense. And to rub salt to our already swelling wounds by your recent enthusiasm, you have the cheek to like the post while no one else likes it and comment on it too? That's like me playing ping pong along and yelling "Great shot Rahul, amazing player you are". Imagine....looks retarded.
5. Turn the page: People it's not a book that you quickly turn pages of. Stop joining pages that are shite, you don't believe in and neither have any fucking sense. Daya has already broken the door and ran away like a fanny, you don't need to listen to the ACP. Take me to a time in past...where books were good and not crass.
6. Same pic - hate it: What's this obsession with updating your profile pics every 10 minutes? Are you so tired of watching yourself in the same pose? Imagine what happens to us poor souls!
7. Jobless Spammers: Fourth last category. Probably the coolest(not really). They hunt in hordes, pick a target and co-ordinate their attacks with such precision that it would put the Italian Mafia to shame. Post after post...they just never tire. Don't have a job and probably no desire. Kings of annoyance with notifications galore, their only aim is to type type and type. Precision and alertness second to none...they probably keep their eyes glued to the screen and jump up when they read "< insert name > has posted on < insert another name >'s post". Useless, jobless and utter retards, in a cool way.
8. The wind in you I will leech on: Basically a spammer, but a cooler one. The guy in this category is the epitome of a twisted mind, weirdness and annoys the hell out of everyone (atleast he thinks he does). With the qualities of a wonderful spammer already possessed coupled with the natural gift of annoying poor, frustrated souls this guy is the ultimate e-disaster the Internet has. Thinks he is cool.....probably is. Naah, not really you weirdo!
9. Status Update - To reveal or not to: This type always comes up with status updates regarding anything in their life or someone else's life which makes the readers ask why, how, where, what and such. If you are updating something about your life on a public domain and you know people will ask about it, do not get annoyed and share the reason behind that update. If you can't...and the update is only directed at a particular person, facebook does have a private message service. Don't get annoyed when we spam your update and take your glory away afterward.
10. No Scope: This is a recent observation as I don't tend to be online at 9 in the morning often. This type is actually not a type of it's own. More of a sub-type. What's the fuss with horoscopes people? Are they so unique and magical that you have to wake up at 8 in the morning, get straight on facebook and read your horoscope? Don't you'll get newspapers? Isn't it easier to open a paper that's right in front of than going through all the trouble of switching on the pc/laptop, opening the browser, log into facebook and then the application? Or does the facebook app have magical powers I'm unaware of? I've only read like horoscopes five times in my entire life (not on fb) and what they say has never happened for me. "You can take massive risks today" I followed that and ended up jumping from 20 feet and getting my legs fucked up. Scope-less Horror-Scope.
11: Ctrl+C, Easy Peasy: One day people who fit this type decided amongst themselves to have a competition to see who has the best status updates. Off Course they were a bit thick to actually realise that best status updates needed to be their own creations. Completely missing the point, this type of posters, to this date, keep using their very cool Ctrl+C/V options and come up with things which even if five generations of their family thought together wouldn't be possible to come up with. Bless them dear Lord, and give them originality.
12: More tags, more fun? : I don't get it? Okay I do get the bit when you tag a person whose face is actually seen in the picture. But have I missed something when I see people tagged on things/people they don't even half resemble? I read " < insert name > has been tagged in the album ". I click on the pic, I see the tag on some vegetable, cartoon or some person who looks a bit famous. They think it'll make me wonder "So this guy I was talking to all day long was actually George Clooney! Woah Cool! ". All I think of looking at it is "Get a life!"
